Toys For Boys: Enhancing Male Pleasure

Even though I spend my days writing and teaching about love and sex, I still find it challenging to delve into the topic of male sex toys. I am not alone in this, for many couples just introducing the idea of adding a vibrator into a relationship can sometimes be awkward and challenging. For a long time the only sex toys I sold on my good clean love site were for women. I was first introduced to male sex toys in the midst of adult entertainment trade shows where exhibitionism generally wins out over education; it didn’t really teach me much about the benefits and uses for the products.

Then one of my favorite toy companies, Lelo launched a men’s line. Trusting them as I do as a reliable source for sexual health products, I felt obliged to bring home some samples and test them out on my husband, who surprisingly didn’t take too much convincing. What we discovered in the test process and the research that I did following was that there is as much to learn about male pleasure and the tools to facilitate the job as for women. Many men are as unfamiliar with the extent and complexity of their pleasure anatomy as women are and because archaic associations between toys, anal stimulation and sexual identities still exist, many men still feel like they can’t ask. The idea that the penis shaft and head is the most or only erogenous zone for men is as outdated as the idea of the clitoris is a little button on top of the vagina.

Male sexual pleasure has many layers. The reason that anal stimulation is such a hot topic is that men have a g spot too, and the anus is the access point. Two very beautiful tools to explore this erogenous zone include Lelo’s new Bob as well as the beautiful stainless steel Njoy wands, both of which are designed for both external and internal use. Learning more about your man’s sexual anatomy and his wide range of pleasure zones will open your lovemaking to very different kinds of arousal and pleasurable sensations that may surprise both of you. Interestingly, the more that I have learned about the male pleasure anatomy, the more I am struck by the similarities between the genders. The same kinds of deep, intense internal orgasm that women find through locating their g-spots are readily available for men.

Working with prostate massagers and identifying how to locate and stimulate this very erogenous area does require a leap of trust for both partners. The multitude of nerve endings in the area between the anus and the scrotum is a revelation for many men, but these sensations respond better to a gentle and patient hand at least initially. Strong communication skills and a healthy curiosity in your sexual relationship are the keys to discovering this wide range of sensations that will enhance both your enjoyment and connection.

Another boy toy that is worth adding to your love arsenal is the C Ring which are also sometimes referred to as P-rings. C-Rings are also frequently referred to as erection rings. Most have vibrators attached, and some have a double ring system to fit around both the base of the penis and wrap around the scrotum. These toys are popular because they help many men maintain an erection. This is because with the use of the ring, there is a certain amount of blood flow that gets caught in the erect penis and depending on the use, the scrotum. The vibrating part of the ring can be turned to face behind the scrotum stimulating the nerve rich male perineum or toward the woman which directly stimulates the clitoris during penetration. Regardless of the location of the vibrating element, the sensation of the penis vibrating inside the vaginal cavity adds a whole new dimension to lovemaking.

The Lelo luxury version of this multi-use toy is the rechargeable Bo. The medical grade silicone stretches to truly fit any size and is softer and more supple than the single use models I have come across. Just like their female vibrators, they recharge like a cell phone. It can be used with or with out the vibrating attachment. For all penis rings the standard safety recommendations are to use no longer than thirty minutes at a time. Some men have difficulty ejaculating with them on, so removal prior to orgasm makes sense. For other men, orgasm is easy and more exciting with the ring in place.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, you might consider investing in one of these handsome tools to help your man unlock the keys to a lifetime of pleasure and satisfaction.

Wendy Strgar, owner of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love and family. Wendy helps couples tackle the questions and concerns of intimacy and relationships, providing honest answers and innovative advice. Wendy lives in Eugene, Oregon with her husband, a psychiatrist, and their four children ages 11-20. –Care2