We ALL say things and act in certain ways that others may not understand, comprehend or accept. And more often then not, the recipient of our words and actions never looks beyond the cause of why it was said or why a particular reaction was taken. And almost always, things between friends and acquaintances go unsettled causing a rift in the relationship.
Proof that I’m just as human as the next, there are times I react to situations and circumstances negatively. Sometimes I say things without thinking. Sometimes I react harshly. Sometimes I just simply scratch my head and wonder why I reacted the way I did either in speech or action. And sometimes I should simply shut the hell up or just not react at all.
Recently, I made two statements to two individuals that was heated. It’s not so much what I said, but how I said it. Both have called me on it. One asked for an explanation and when I did give one, in no uncertain terms called me a lier. The other felt that I had no “right” to feel the way I did. In my opinion, both were more concerned about their feelings being hurt (the all about me syndrome), thus caring less as to why I said what I did or why I felt the way I did. So both issue’s remains unsettled and will never be resolved.
I admit that the tone I used in delivering how I felt was harsh. On the other hand, what I said I will never apologize for. With this said; we ALL hate rejection, specially from our friends. Though my delivery may have been harsh it steamed from the fact that I felt brushed aside either because I was an inconvenience and because I didn't have the right to feel the way I did. Therefore, being called on how I said how I felt I’m okay with, but what I’m not okay with is that they not caring as to why.
My thing is this. If we are truly friends, it has to be understand that we’re not always going to come across like perhaps we should. There is going to be those occasions when things are said that is going to either dig or hurt. We don’t live in a perfect world and no one is 100% of the times going treat us perfectly. This is reality. To think or expect otherwise is being unrealistic.
Perhaps replacing behavioral expectations with a bit of understanding might lesson the impact in which the message was received, thus providing a sense of conformability in open dialogue. If this aspect is denied then resolve will never be a part of the relationship and eventually the relationship will fall apart.
Yes, we all want to live peacefully, without drama, and without pain. But since utopia is not going to be a part of this life we have to find ways in which we can get along. And in my case, I believe that if BOTH would take a little more time to listen rather than not accept or not want to hear as to why I’m feeling the way I do, then life would be so much easier to deal with and I wouldn’t still feel like I’m an inconvenience or have no right to feel the way I do.
Proof that I’m just as human as the next, there are times I react to situations and circumstances negatively. Sometimes I say things without thinking. Sometimes I react harshly. Sometimes I just simply scratch my head and wonder why I reacted the way I did either in speech or action. And sometimes I should simply shut the hell up or just not react at all.
Recently, I made two statements to two individuals that was heated. It’s not so much what I said, but how I said it. Both have called me on it. One asked for an explanation and when I did give one, in no uncertain terms called me a lier. The other felt that I had no “right” to feel the way I did. In my opinion, both were more concerned about their feelings being hurt (the all about me syndrome), thus caring less as to why I said what I did or why I felt the way I did. So both issue’s remains unsettled and will never be resolved.
I admit that the tone I used in delivering how I felt was harsh. On the other hand, what I said I will never apologize for. With this said; we ALL hate rejection, specially from our friends. Though my delivery may have been harsh it steamed from the fact that I felt brushed aside either because I was an inconvenience and because I didn't have the right to feel the way I did. Therefore, being called on how I said how I felt I’m okay with, but what I’m not okay with is that they not caring as to why.
My thing is this. If we are truly friends, it has to be understand that we’re not always going to come across like perhaps we should. There is going to be those occasions when things are said that is going to either dig or hurt. We don’t live in a perfect world and no one is 100% of the times going treat us perfectly. This is reality. To think or expect otherwise is being unrealistic.
Perhaps replacing behavioral expectations with a bit of understanding might lesson the impact in which the message was received, thus providing a sense of conformability in open dialogue. If this aspect is denied then resolve will never be a part of the relationship and eventually the relationship will fall apart.
Yes, we all want to live peacefully, without drama, and without pain. But since utopia is not going to be a part of this life we have to find ways in which we can get along. And in my case, I believe that if BOTH would take a little more time to listen rather than not accept or not want to hear as to why I’m feeling the way I do, then life would be so much easier to deal with and I wouldn’t still feel like I’m an inconvenience or have no right to feel the way I do.
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