For the last eight months I’ve been trying to figure out what it means to be in love again. First and foremost, I’ve forgotten that it ain’t easy. Secondly, it seems that love has become like a four letter word and replaced with the phrase “Friends with Benefits.” Guess it’s a 21st century thing!
Anyway, I have almost concluded that emotions can never be a part of being in love. It seems that in today’s world, emotions is more like a doormat. It’s no longer a relevant aspect of an ongoing meaningful relationship. While they screw your brains out the underlining expectation is that you can’t include elements like commitment, obligation, responsibility and respect.
Honestly, no matter how I may try and dismiss my emotions, I can’t! Call me old fashioned. Whether I’m in a relationship that includes an acquaintance, friend, lover or a life-long partner, there is a certain amount of emotions that comes with the territory. Like it or not, being in ones life entails emotions for if it didn’t then what worth is there in being in anyone’s life? I might as well live as a hermit and keep everyone at a distance, and most definitely leave love as a doormat at all cost for fear of being alone.
Like the lyrics in “Have You Ever Loved Someone” by Rascal Flatts (take a listen of it … see “I’m Feeling It”), I’ve certainly entertained the thought that “if love is really forever, I’m a winner at a loosing game.” So what am I to do? Do I go with the flow and void my life of eliments that doesn’t include commitment, obligation, responsibility and respect if I’m going to be with someone? No, not at all!
I’ve always been taught that being in someone’s life is a privilege and the privileges are never to be taken advantage of with unrealistic expectations. As for being in love, I’ve concluded that as long as I maintain my standard of commitment, obligation, responsibility and respect within the relationship is all that matters and here’s how I’m doing it:
1. Commitment … being sexual monogamous. I ain’t bedding down with every Tom, Dick and Harry that my partner may be hopping in the sack with ... I expect the same in return. Playing Russian Roulette with one’s health ain’t an option!
2. Obligation ... being honest at all cost. Deception in any form is destructive to a meaningful relationship. It is not unfair to expect open and honest communication from anyone in my life. Communication is key to surviving any relationship. Without it the relationship will eventually die.
3. Responsibility … caring for the other person. Everyone comes and goes in my life for a reason. While that individual is in my life I am responsible to and for them for they are a gift from God.
4. Respect … this is paramount in any relationship. First, I’ve got to respect myself before I can respect someone else. Also, respect is earned, not demanded. I must always respect each person’s place in life whether I agree or disagree with them. By respecting each other builds trust and in the long run mutual respect for the relationship.
My conclusion … “what’s love got to do with it?" Not a damn thing! Love is like a blanket, but if it doesn't include all of the four ingredients above then I believe that love will never be.
Anyway, I have almost concluded that emotions can never be a part of being in love. It seems that in today’s world, emotions is more like a doormat. It’s no longer a relevant aspect of an ongoing meaningful relationship. While they screw your brains out the underlining expectation is that you can’t include elements like commitment, obligation, responsibility and respect.
Honestly, no matter how I may try and dismiss my emotions, I can’t! Call me old fashioned. Whether I’m in a relationship that includes an acquaintance, friend, lover or a life-long partner, there is a certain amount of emotions that comes with the territory. Like it or not, being in ones life entails emotions for if it didn’t then what worth is there in being in anyone’s life? I might as well live as a hermit and keep everyone at a distance, and most definitely leave love as a doormat at all cost for fear of being alone.
Like the lyrics in “Have You Ever Loved Someone” by Rascal Flatts (take a listen of it … see “I’m Feeling It”), I’ve certainly entertained the thought that “if love is really forever, I’m a winner at a loosing game.” So what am I to do? Do I go with the flow and void my life of eliments that doesn’t include commitment, obligation, responsibility and respect if I’m going to be with someone? No, not at all!
I’ve always been taught that being in someone’s life is a privilege and the privileges are never to be taken advantage of with unrealistic expectations. As for being in love, I’ve concluded that as long as I maintain my standard of commitment, obligation, responsibility and respect within the relationship is all that matters and here’s how I’m doing it:
1. Commitment … being sexual monogamous. I ain’t bedding down with every Tom, Dick and Harry that my partner may be hopping in the sack with ... I expect the same in return. Playing Russian Roulette with one’s health ain’t an option!
2. Obligation ... being honest at all cost. Deception in any form is destructive to a meaningful relationship. It is not unfair to expect open and honest communication from anyone in my life. Communication is key to surviving any relationship. Without it the relationship will eventually die.
3. Responsibility … caring for the other person. Everyone comes and goes in my life for a reason. While that individual is in my life I am responsible to and for them for they are a gift from God.
4. Respect … this is paramount in any relationship. First, I’ve got to respect myself before I can respect someone else. Also, respect is earned, not demanded. I must always respect each person’s place in life whether I agree or disagree with them. By respecting each other builds trust and in the long run mutual respect for the relationship.
My conclusion … “what’s love got to do with it?" Not a damn thing! Love is like a blanket, but if it doesn't include all of the four ingredients above then I believe that love will never be.
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