The Age Factor

 Author Unknown

Getting old is actually fun, believe it or not.   And being forgetful makes living with today’s “flakes and nuts”  even a lot more tolerable.  And did you know  I’ve finally realized that. . .

Changing my car horn to gunshot sounds make people get out of my way much faster now?

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers?  Now they drink like their fathers.

That tingly little feeling you get when you think you are in love with someone is common sense leaving your body?

I didn't make it to the gym again today?  That makes five years it a row.

To stop calling the bathroom “the John” and renaming it “the Jim” instead is really sensible?   It feels wonderful saying I went to “the Jim” this morning.

As a child I thought “nap time” was a punishment?   Now, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it.”?

I don't have gray hair?   I have "wisdom highlights".   I'm just much wiser.

If God wanted me to touch my toes,  He would've put them on my thighs?

Last year,  I joined a support group for procrastinators?   We haven't met yet.

Pressing ONE for English just gets you transferred to someone with a foreign accent  you can't understand anyway?

I talk to myself?   That’s because sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age, "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I went there for?

Actually, I'm not complaining having become a senager (senior-ager)?   At my age,  I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. . .  

• I don’t have to go to school or to work.

• I get an allowance every month.

• I have my own pad.

• I don’t have a curfew.

• I have a driver’s license and my own car.

• The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.

• And I don’t have acne.

Life is really great.

-Submitted by Ralph