There was once a grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning, he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in his car for some quality time including breakfast with pancakes, and later some ice cream.
One particular Saturday, the Grandpa woke up with a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drive and would be very disappointed. Luckily, Grandma came to the rescue and offered to take the granddaughter for the weekly drive and breakfast.
When they returned, the little girl ran upstairs to see her grandfather, who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with Grandma?" he asked.
"Not really. In fact, it was boring. We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. We didn't see a single asshole, queer, piece of shit, horse's ass, socialist left wing Harper lover, blind bastard, Muslim camel humper, pecker-head or son of a bitch like you and I do." -Contributed by Ralph
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