A Divorce Proposal

Written by a young American  law college student

Dear American Liberals, Leftists, Social Progressives, Marxists, Socialists, and Obama lovers/supporters, et al:

We have stuck together for decades for the kids' and the future generations' sake, but the national turn of events since 2009 up to the present have made me realize that a divorce is the only solution because it has sadly become very obvious that our relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides how to run America cannot and will never agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end our relationship on friendly terms. We can then smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own separate ways.

Below is a divorce proposal, which, hopefully, you will fully agree with.

First of all, let us divide the land with each one taking a fairly equal portion. It may be difficult, but surely, as adults, we can come to an amicable and equitable solution. After that, the rest should be relatively easy and we can divide the assets with very little, if any, problem because each side has very distinct and disparate tastes.

Thus:

1) You and your like-minded friends are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU as well as redistributive taxes. We'll take the guns/firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military which you neither like nor appreciate anyway.

2) You can go with wind, solar, and biodiesel while we take the nasty smelling oil industry and coal mines.

3) You are more than welcome to have Al Sharpton, (Hanoi) Jane Fonda, Eric Holder, Jesse Jackson, Shirley McClaine, Michael Moore, Barack Obama, Rosie O'Donnell, Sean Penn, Charlie & Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Ted Turner, and Oprah Winfrey; we'll keep Bill O'Reilly.

4) You can have Extremism, Marxism, Radicalism, Socialism. We'll keep Capitalism, the greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

5) You can have all the atheists, drug addicts/deviants, gangbangers, homeless, hippies, illegal immigrants, social activists, psycho/sociopaths, welfare/food stamps and government subsidy recipients. We'll have the Alaska hockey moms, fundamentalists/Bible & Jesus lovers, and rednecks.

6) You can have ABC, CBS, NBC, Hollywood, Hamas, Iran, and North Korea; we'll keep Israel, PBS, and the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

7) You can have the peaceniks and war protesters; we'll keep our allies and those who prefer our way of life, and provide them security if/when they come under attack.

8) You are more than welcome to Big Bang/Evolution, Islam, Humanism, Political Correctness, Scientology, Secularism, sexual freedom and same sex marriage. You can have the United Nations, too, but please note. . .we will no longer pay for UN's bills! We'll keep our Judeo-Christian beliefs and values.

9) We'll keep the SUV's, pick-up trucks and over-sized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf.

10) You can have ObamaCare; hopefully, you can find enough willing physicians to provide care. We'll keep the present "disease care"/healthcare system.

11) We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The Star-Spangled Banner". You are free to choose whatever song you want as your national anthem and hymn. [We heard you might like: "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".]

12) We'll continue to practice trickle-down economics. You can pursue trickle-up poverty or whatever type of economics makes you happy.

13) Since they often offend you, we'll keep the original American history, the country's original name: The United States of America, and the American flag! You can write your own version of history, choose a country name that suits you, and a flag which you can proudly display and not burn or trample upon.

Certainly, you agree with all of the above, don't you? If you do, then you and your pals on the Left are free to go your way, while the rest of us on the Right go ours.

Very sincerely,

John J. Wall, a Conservative American Law Student

P.S. By the way, you don't need to press "1" for English if/when you call us.

~Contributed by Ralph