Jan 3, 2016

A Few Jokes

Author(s) Unknown


When an 80-year-old woman called her physician's office for an appointment for her annual check-up, the front office clerk informer the old lady that a new PCP will be seeing her because the doctor who had seen her for years and most of her life had retired. Also, she was also requested to bring all the medications that she had been prescribed.

On the day of her check-up, as the new young physician looked at the old lady's collection of medications, he immediately noticed among the medications were birth control pills, so he asked:

"Mrs. Smith, why do you have these birth control pills?"

"They help me sleep at night."

"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in birth controls pills that could possibly help you sleep!"

She then reached out and patted the young doctor's knee, and said: "Yes, Doctor, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in a glass of orange juice for my 16-year-old granddaughter. Believe me, it helps me sleep very well at night."


A man was sitting in a bus minding his own business when a gorgeous young woman sat next to him and started to breast-feed her baby.

When the baby refused to nurse, she said, "Come on sweetie, take it or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."

Few minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."

After several more minutes and the baby still refusing to nurse, the man finally blurted out, "Come on, kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to have gotten off the bus four stops ago!"


Students were taking a Biology class final examination. The test had only one question worth 100 points or none at all. The question was: "Name seven advantages of mother's milk".

One student wrote the following answer:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity for the child against many diseases.
3) It is always at the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always easily available when needed.

And then the student was stuck for the final reason. . .the minutes ticked away. Finally, at the very last minute just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test session, he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers and it is high enough off the ground where the cat can't get to it.
He passed and even got an "A"!


A woman and her 12-year-old son were in a taxi in Detroit. The route to the woman and her son's destination happened to go through the city's red light district. It was heavily raining that particular day, and as they were passing through that section of the city, a whole bunch of prostitutes stood in clumps being drenched by the downpour.

The boy noticed and asked, "Mom, what are all those women doing standing in the rain for?"

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she explained.

After a period of silence, the taxi driver, unable to contain himself, turned his head and said, "Geez lady, why don't you tell the kid the truth that they're hookers, and they have sex with men for money?"

"Is that true, Mom?" the boy queried.

The mother glared at the cab driver and simply nodded her head.

After a few moments, the kid asked, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?"

"Most of them become taxi drivers!" she replied.

~Contributed by Ralph

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