A blonde went to Wal-Mart to buy curtains. She told the sales clerk that she wanted a pair of pink curtains. The clerk assured her that they have a large selection of pink curtains, and showed her several patterns. The blonde took an unusually long time to make her choice. Finally, after selecting a lovely pink floral print, the salesman then asked what size curtains she needed.
The blonde promptly replied, "Seventeen inches"
"Seventeen inches? That sounds unusually small. What room are they for?" the clerk further inquired.
"They aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor," she answered.
The clerk incredulously countered, "But, Miss, computers do not need curtains!"
The blonde responded, "Hellllooooooooo...mine has Windoooooows...."
The Blonde And The Airplane
A blonde was seated in a two-seater plane and just several minutes after take-off, the pilot suddenly lost consciousness.
Grabbing the pilot's headset, she frantically screamed over the mouthpiece. "May Day! May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! I am the only passenger in this plane, and the pilot lost consciousness...he might have had a heart attack and looks like he is dead. I have never piloted a plane before in my life. Someone please help me!...Please help me!"
A voice came over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I hear you loud and clear. Just relax, Ma'am, and I will help you get safely back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Trust me. Okay? Now, just take a deep breath and everything will be just fine! To start, can you give me your height and your position?"
She said, "I'm 5'4" and I am sitting down."
The voice from the control tower instructed: "Please repeat after me, 'Our Father.....who art in Heaven....' "
~Author Unknown
The blonde promptly replied, "Seventeen inches"
"Seventeen inches? That sounds unusually small. What room are they for?" the clerk further inquired.
"They aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor," she answered.
The clerk incredulously countered, "But, Miss, computers do not need curtains!"
The blonde responded, "Hellllooooooooo...mine has Windoooooows...."
The Blonde And The Airplane
A blonde was seated in a two-seater plane and just several minutes after take-off, the pilot suddenly lost consciousness.
Grabbing the pilot's headset, she frantically screamed over the mouthpiece. "May Day! May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! I am the only passenger in this plane, and the pilot lost consciousness...he might have had a heart attack and looks like he is dead. I have never piloted a plane before in my life. Someone please help me!...Please help me!"
A voice came over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I hear you loud and clear. Just relax, Ma'am, and I will help you get safely back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Trust me. Okay? Now, just take a deep breath and everything will be just fine! To start, can you give me your height and your position?"
She said, "I'm 5'4" and I am sitting down."
The voice from the control tower instructed: "Please repeat after me, 'Our Father.....who art in Heaven....' "
~Author Unknown
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