Locally Speaking

Pirates Voyage Opening In June 

A model demonstrates what the old Dixie Stampede theater will look like when it is converted for the Pirates Voyage show. –SunNews

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Immigrants Departing South Carolina 

The number of illegal immigrants in South Carolina has dropped significantly in recent years as undocumented workers deterred by the state's poor economy go elsewhere for work.

While the national total has dropped only slightly since 2007 - from 12 million to 11.2 million, or 6.7 percent - South Carolina's share of illegal immigrants has declined by 21.4 percent - from 70,000 to 55,000 - in the same period.

North Carolina's illegal immigration population has stayed relatively stable at an estimated 325,000 last year after taking a slight dip the year before.

Jeff Passell, a demographer with the Pew Research Center who wrote the Washington group's report released Tuesday, said economic woes in South Carolina and beyond have slowed the influx of undocumented workers from Mexico and other countries.

"Certainly when the economy is bad, the attraction for new unauthorized immigrants just isn't there," Passell told McClatchy. "In places where the economy is bad, what we've seen historically is that the flow of new unauthorized immigrants drops dramatically." -Read more at SunNews

Snopes Exposed

Not sure who to believe anymore! Snopes.com could no longer be trusted. It was just a matter of time for Snopes.com to be defrocked and exposed.

For the past few years, Snopes.com had positioned itself [and many believed it] as the 'final word' on various issues and subjects. But recently, inconsistencies in Snopes.com's opinion have surfaced, which caused some people to find out what and who Snopes.com actually is Wikipedia got into the act and tried to get to the bottom of it. Well, as it turned out, Snopes.com is run by a husband and wife team, and not some truly bona fide group of investigators and researchers. It is a mom-and-pop operation which began as a hobby for David and Barbara Mikkelson of San Fernando, California about 13 years ago. The Mikkelsons have no formal background or experience in investigative research. Yet after a few years Snopes.com gained popularity, and many accepted Snopes.com's word to be unbiased and unvarnished truth until some people detected some inconsistencies, and these doubting Thomases started to ask questions about Snopes.com's claims and reliability.

For instance, a State Farm Insurance agent, Bud Gregg, of Mandeville, Illinois posted an anti-Obama political which made a big splash in the Internet. According to Snopes.com [the Mikkelsons], they researched the issue and posted their findings on Snopes.com. In their statement they claimed that the corporate office of State Farm pressured Gregg to take down the Internet sign, when in fact nothing of the sort ever took place. Someone also personally contacted David Mikkelson thinking he would want to get to the bottom of the matter, and gave him Bud Gregg's phone number(s). But according to Gregg, Mikkelson never called him (Gregg). In fact, according to Bud Gregg, no one from Snopes.com ever contacted him or anyone at State Farm. Yet, Snopes.com issued a statement claiming that it had the 'final factual word' on the issue making it appear as if they did their homework and got to the bottom of things when in reality, as it turned out, Snopes.com did not!

Then, it had since been additionally learned that Snopes.com --- the Mikkelsons--- are die-hard and very pro-Obama California Democrats and extreme liberals. [Also, it had since become blatantly obvious that liberals have an agenda to discredit anything that "appeared to be" conservative.]

Therefore, from now on, the bottom line is: whoever goes to Snopes.com to get what they think is the "truth" should proceed with caution. It is best to do one's own serious research if one is truly concerned about any topic or issue rather than merely take the word of Snopes.com. While TruthOrFiction.com might be a better source at this time, still one has to proceed with caution and make sure to not readily believe anything which any self-appointed e-mail and Internet police might claim or say!

Alan Strong, CEO/Chairman
Commercial Programming Systems, Inc.
4400 Coldwater Canyon Ave. Suite 200
Studio City, California 91604-5039

The Pleasure Factory

Think you’ve got him all figured out below the belt? Think again. Our man-atomy review is filled with little-known facts that will lead to big pleasure for him — and guaranteed satisfaction for you.

I thought writing about my below the belt anatomy would be easy. After all, I’ve had access to the equipment for 29 years. But the very first expert I spoke with told me something I didn’t know: “There’s a difference between ejaculation and orgasm,” says Edward Ratush, M.D., creator of lovelifemd.com. There is? And the more experts I called, the more I learned. Three kinds of erections? Guys faking it? A male body part called the raphe? Once my head stopped spinning, I put together this explanatory guide to a man’s twig and berries. Get ready to double your pleasure and teach the guy in your life a thing or two about what he’s made of.

The Big Fella

The penis is far more complex than the fresh Polish sausage it resembles. At the top is the nerve-packed, helmet-shaped head called the glans. The thick, rounded rim of the glans is the corona. Right below the point where the corona curves up (on the side of the penis facing you when it’s, er, happy), you’ll find an ultrasensitive ridge called the frenulum. This stretchy band of tissue is attached to the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis. Your man sports a tailored turtleneck? His frenulum’s only function is to register good vibes.

Moving down, the bulk of the shaft is made up of corpora cavernosa, two columns of spongy tissue that fill with blood to produce an erection. Similar tissue composes the corpus spongiosum, which surrounds the urethra, aka the handy hose that transports urine and sperm from their respective sources to the opening at the tip of the head.

Yes, it all feels good when handled, but a discerning touch goes a long way. “The upper areas — near the head — respond to friction,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of He Comes Next. “The lower parts — nearer the base — respond to pressure.” To provide the perfect combo (not that you asked): During foreplay, tightly encircle the base of the penis with your fingers. The pressure restricts blood flow out of the shaft, making his erection harder and delaying orgasm. Supply friction at the head with your mouth or other hand and — ta-da! — we promise to take out the recycling for a whole month.

Tips to help you have amazing sex all month long!

A couple more fun phallus facts:

“There are three kinds of erections,” says Karen Boyle, M.D., director of reproductive medicine and surgery at the Brady Urological Institute at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. Reflexogenic occur from actual contact, psychogenic ones result from fantasy or audiovisual stimulation, and nocturnal erections take place (duh) at night.

The average erect penis ranges in length from 5.5 to 6.2 inches. To make your man’s penis seem bigger, get on top, tilt your pelvis in the direction that feels most pleasurable, and push down for greater depth, suggests sexuality educator Amy Levine, founder of sexedsolutions.com. Or, in missionary, place your feet on his chest, which will make your vaginal canal feel shorter and better angle you for G-spot stimulation. –Care2

Americans Are NOT stupid - With Subtitles

Nine States Don't Give Maximum Unemployment Benefits: Does Yours?

Extended unemployment benefits – after the first 26 weeks – are paid by Uncle Sam, but only if states pass legislation allowing it. So far, 37 states and D.C. are on board, four have unemployment levels too low to qualify, and nine just haven't taken action.
On December 17th, Congress reauthorized emergency benefits for unemployed workers, giving them an extra 13 to 20 weeks of unemployment compensation.

But before Uncle Sam can cut the checks – the extended benefits are fully funded by the federal government, not the states – each state needs to pass legislation allowing the legal distribution of the funds.

Nine states have not done this yet.

On Monday, in a mathematical projection, the National Employment Law Project said that as a result of those nine states not passing legislation, some 236,000 workers could lose out on $876 million in unemployment benefits. In most cases, the unemployed will miss out on an extra 13 weeks of payments. But, in two states, Louisiana and Mississippi, the jobless would qualify for an extra 20 weeks.

“With full federal funding of this program assured through the end of 2011, the decision to activate Extended Benefits programs in these nine states should be an easy one,” says George Wentworth, a senior staff attorney at NELP in New York.

“These benefits will help workers to hang on to their homes and feed their families, as they struggle to find new employment in this terrible job market,” he says.

According to NELP, the nine states that have not acted yet are: Arkansas, Iowa, Louisiana, Maryland, Mississippi, Montana, Oklahoma, Utah and Wyoming.

So far, 37 states and the District of Columbia have passed the legislation that will ensure the jobless in their states will receive the extra 13 or 20 weeks of benefits.

If a state’s unemployment level is at least 6.5 percent, its workers are eligible for 13 weeks; if the unemployment level is 8 percent or higher, jobless workers may get an extra 20 weeks.

In addition, four states have had low unemployment for an extended period, so are not eligible for extended benefits: North Dakota (3.8 percent unemployment rate), Nebraska (4.4 percent), South Dakota (4.6 percent), and Hawaii (6.4 percent).

These four states have not adopted legislation that would trigger federal benefits if their unemployment were to rise to the threshold.

Some states may not have acted because, in the past, Congress extended the benefits for only short periods of time, says Mr. Wentworth. States "would run the risk of having to shut the program down shortly after starting it up,” he says.

Other state governors may have philosophical objections to supporting legislation adding benefits. For example, in Wyoming, where the legislature would help some 5,689 unemployed residents, Gov. Matt Mead (R) is “actively” watching the pending legislation for "the long term impact to employers who fund our unemployment insurance system,” says Renny MacKay, a spokesman for the governor.

In regular unemployment benefits, which last 26 weeks in all states, the costs are split 50-50 between the state and federal government. Private employers pay into the state’s system to fund it.

However, as Wentworth notes, the extended benefits program costs little to the state or its employers. “It is totally funded by the federal government – except for former employees of state and local governments. The states and municipalities have to pay dollar for dollar for [state employees'] extended benefits,” he says.

Maryland, one of the nine states that has yet to pass legislation, is working with the US Department of Labor to find out what legislation it needs to pass to qualify for the funds. says Shaun Adamec, press secretary for Gov. Martin O’Malley (D).

“We’re just at the beginning of our session (which runs from January to April), and this may well be a part of our legislation this year,” says Mr. Adamec. “We just need to finalize with DOL to make sure we know what needs to be in it.”

If the state does act, it would provide an estimated $182.6 million to 47,393 Maryland residents, who would receive an additional thirteen weeks of benefits, according to the NELP.

One resident who would qualify is Lisa Banks of Germantown, who was laid off from her job as an office manager in May 2009. She lost her unemployment benefits at the end of October.

Ms. Banks says she desperately needs the money.

“It would help me avoid losing my car, it would let me keep my electric on so I can keep taking classes on my computer, it would allow me to buy food,” says Banks, who says she has lost 35 pounds because she can’t afford groceries. “The unemployment checks at least allowed me to get the basic necessities. I don’t even have $2 in my pocket.” -The Christian Science Monitor

3 Little Pigs

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.

^^*^^

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.

She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'

The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think the man said?'

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...

'I think the man would have said - 'I'll be a son of a bitch!! A talking pig!'

The teacher had to leave the room.

Author Unknown

Ragbag Headliners

Sunken Ship Of 'Moby-Dick' Captain Found

In an instance of truth being stranger than fiction, American author Herman Melville turned to a horrifying ordeal as inspiration for his 19th-century classic "Moby-Dick."

In 1820, the Nantucket, Massachusetts, whaling vessel Essex was rammed and sunk in the South Pacific by a sperm whale.

George Pollard Jr. and his surviving crew, initially using three small boats that were aboard the Essex, resorted to cannibalism while they drifted in the open ocean for more than two months before being picked up by other vessels.—Read more at CNN U.S.

Her Fourth Wedding

A woman walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. "Of course, Madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"

The bride-to-be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, and then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time-- those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean. Perhaps, ivory or sky blue would be more appropriate for you.''

"Well!" huffed the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness. "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate for me. Believe it or not, despite all my three prior marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride. You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding; he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and have never spoken to each other again."

''What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"That one was to a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and promised me how good it was going to be, but nothing he promised ever really happened. He was the victim of a hit-and-run accident, and died on the spot while distributing campaign leaflets for his favorite candidate two years ago." -Author Unknown

Make This Guy The President!

Lt Col Allen West.

Redneck Guide To Yankee Talk—Part II

Cant figure out what a Damn Yankee is saying maybe this Guide will help:

Your Abbreviated Guide to Proper YankeeTalk

And ya'll say we talk funny?!

If your unfortunate enough to have to visit Yankee Country - like Boston (pronounced BAH-stin), this guide may help you understand what they are sayin', (but I doubt it). Pahty: A place to go to drink and socialize - nothing to do with Mother Nature.

ah: The letter between "q" & "s."

ahnt: Sistah of your fathah or muthah.

bah: Serves beah and hahd likkah: "The train to Noo Yok has a bah cah." bay

ah: Ferocious brown or black animal.

beah: Malt beverage.

bahn: As in: "What yeah were you bahn in?"

bzah: Strange, odd.

Chahlz: The rivah.

chowdah: Clams, milk, buttah.

cahn: Stahchy veggie that comes on a cob.

connah: Where streets intersect.

fah: Not neah heah

fahk: What you eat pahster with.
Gahden: What they closed last yeah (also a place to plant flowahs.)
hahbah: What they dumped tea into in 1773.
Hahvid: Preppy college across the rivah.
hahf-ahst: Done without regahd to detail.
heah: Done with the eahs. "Listen my children, and you shall heah of the midnight ride of Paul Reveah."
khakis: What you staht the cah with and keep on yawh key chain.
nawtheastah: Stahm that blows in from the wottah.
Noo Yok: Sinkhole 240 miles south of Tremont Street.
owah: Sixty minutes.
pahk: Cahn't do it in Hahvad Yahd. Not downtown, eithah.
pahster: spaghetti, ziti, etc.
pastah: The rectah of a parish, like St. Mahgrits.
pichahs: They throw fastballs at Fenway.
Rawjah: He *used to* throw the fastest fastballs at Fenway.....
Reveah: He rode through Ahlington on a hoss shouting, "To Ahms!"
shuah: Of course
shot: Not tall.
wof: A peeah, jutting into the hahbah.
wottah: H2O
yeah: A 365 day period.

^^^*^^^

Redneck 911 Call

The Real Reason For The U.S. Economic Crises

The Democratic-run investigative panel's 600-page report on what caused the financial crisis was promptly thrown onto a dusty shelf, where most congressional inquiries are soon forgotten, late last month.

From the beginning, the report's conclusions were tilted, placing much, if not most, of the blame on Wall Street, greedy lenders in the private sector and the lack of adequate federal regulation. Notably, it played down the government's central role in the mortgage scandal that drove the economy into a deep recession.

The Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission's six-member Democratic majority approved the report, while all four of the Republicans on the panel opposed it. The chief point of contention was the key role that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac -- the government-created mortgage giants -- played in the financial collapse that toppled banks, shook Wall Street to its foundations, and flattened the housing market.

The six Democrats maintained that while Fannie and Freddie played a role in the financial disaster, the major cause was Wall Street and the failure of government regulators and policymakers to do their jobs. The panel's Republican members said the facts showed that the two government-created agencies were in fact the chief cause of the crisis that led to their bankruptcy and federal takeover, costing the Treasury more than $130 billion to date.

In a strongly worded dissenting report from the GOP side of the commission, Peter J. Wallison of the American Enterprise Institute sharply criticized the Democratic majority for the way it conducted the inquiry -- overlooking key factors in government policies that led to much lower mortgage-lending standards for minority, low-income home buyers. Such policies burst the subprime mortgage bubble and led to the gargantuan number of home foreclosures that continue to this day.

"From the beginning, the commission's investigation was limited to validating the standard narrative about the financial crisis -- that it was caused by deregulation or lack of regulation, weak risk management, predatory lending, unregulated derivatives, and greed on Wall Street. Other hypotheses were either never considered or were treated only superficially," Wallison wrote.
It wasn't Wall Street banks that led to the crisis, but government housing policy charted by Democratic leaders in Congress -- that pressured the Department of Housing and Urban Development and mortgage giants Fannie and Freddie to buy up massive numbers of high-risk, subprime mortgages provided to low-income and minority borrowers who couldn't afford them.

"If the U.S. government had not chosen this policy path -- fostering the growth of a bubble of unprecedented size and equally unprecedented number of weak and high-risk residential mortgages -- the great financial crisis of 2008 would never have occurred," Wallison said.

Among the volume of evidence Wallison offers in his dissent is a 2005 HUD report that openly admits: "(L)enders have been encouraged by HUD and banking regulators to increase lending to low-income and minority households ... Sometimes these borrowers are higher risk, with blemished credit histories and high debt or simply little savings for a down payment. Lenders have responded with low down payment loans and automated underwriting."

He charges that the Democrats who wrote the report refused to acknowledge the reckless role that government housing policy played in the run-up to the subprime mortgage collapse, which is still wreaking havoc in the nation's depressed housing industry and in the larger economy.

While Democrats have tried to lay the entire subprime collapse at the doorstep of George W. Bush's administration, the roots of the subprime scandal really go back to the Clinton administration in the early 1990s, when he and Democratic leaders were pushing policies that sharply raised the number of mortgages to minorities and low-income home buyers.

"In 1993 (home ownership) was 63 percent; by the end of the Clinton administration it was 68 percent. The growth in the Bush administration was about 1 percent," Wallison wrote in his analysis: "The True Origins of This Financial Crisis" in the February 2009 issue of The American Spectator.

The New York Times "reported in 1999 that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were under pressure from the Clinton administration to increase lending to minorities and low-income home buyers -- a policy that necessarily entailed higher risks. Can there really be a question ... where the push to reduce lending standards and boost home ownership came from?" he writes.

The two major policy culprits in the federal push to lower lending standards were the Community Reinvestment Act and what was known as the affordable housing "mission" that Freddie and Fannie were instructed to administer.

By the mid-1990s, under Clinton administration pressure, federal regulators created new lending rules under which banks had to show "that they had actually made a requisite number of loans to low-and moderate-income borrowers" by using "innovative or flexible" lending practices," Wallison writes.

HUD pressed for new mortgage lending policies under the 1994 National Homeownership Strategy developed at Clinton's request. Among its provisions, it called for "financing strategies, fueled by the creativity and resources of the private and public sectors, to help homeowners that lack cash to buy a home and to make the payments."

According to the Joint Center for Housing Studies at Harvard University, subprime loans made to borrowers with poor credit records rose from 7.2 percent to nearly 19 percent. Standards for other loans fell as well. Fannie and Freddie eagerly bought them up, with the government guaranteeing them. And the bubble grew until it burst in 2008, and the rest is history.

The blame for this scandal rests first and foremost with the federal government.

By Donald Lambro (Donald Lambro is chief political correspondent for The Washington Times.)

At The Bar

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen here, good-looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on; it doesn't matter to me. I just love it!"

With eyes wide with interest, he responded, "No kidding. . .I'm in Congress, too. Which State are you from?" -Author Unknown

"Those Voices Don't Speak for the rest of US"

545 vs 300,000,000

Do you think it might be time to throw all the bottom feeders out?

Every citizen needs to read this and think about what this journalist has scripted in this message. Read it and then really think about our current political debacle.

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party. What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ.

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses. Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.

What you do with this article now that you have read it … Is up to you.

This might be funny if it weren't so darned true. Be sure to read all the way to the end:

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid..

Put these words
Upon his tomb,
Taxes drove me
to my doom...'

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 4475 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge = 0 Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What in the hell happened? Can you spell 'politicians?' And I still have to 'press 1' for English!?

I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times!!! YOU can help it get there!!!

GO AHEAD - - - BE AN AMERICAN!!!

Charley Reese has been a journalist for 49 years.
545 PEOPLE
By Charlie Reese

Thinking Outside The Box, Real Estate?

Check out this sweet little pad!

This place seems very modern, perhaps like something you’d see in a swanky high rise condo or town home near the city, right? BUT…

HERE’S THE INCREDIBLE PART!! ... This 1 bedroom loft apartment was built inside a 1940’s grain silo.

It was renovated into this upscale unit after it was purchased and relocated to the grounds of the Gruene Homestead Inn in New Braunfels, TX in 2007.

Learn How Ta Speak Redneck—Part I

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

FLARES: The colorful, sweet-smelling part of a plant.
Usage: "If yo wife's mad at ya, it's smart to take her some flares."

DAYUM: A cuss word Rhett Butler used in "Gone With the Wind."
Usage: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dayum."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

CENT: Plural of cent.
Usage: "You paid five dollars for that necktie? Ah wouldn't give fiddy cent for it."

BAWL: What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
Usage: "That gal cain't even bawl water without burnin' it."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that

Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
Usage: "Pa dun had a hot attack." HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Et-lanna, and boy my arms are tarred."

SAAR: The opposite of sweet.
Usage: "These pickles Sure are saar."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

OVAIR: In that direction.
Usage: "Where's yo paw, son?" "He's ovair, suh."

LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"

MUCHABLIGE: Thank you.
Usage: "Muchablige for the lift, mister."

IDINIT: Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying Ain't.
Usage: "Mighty hot today, idinit?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

SEED - Seen, past tense.

VIEW - Have You?
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

PHRAISIN: Very cold.
Usage:"Shut that door. It's phraisin in here."

GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!

Author Unknown

Locally Speaking

Mo-Peds Make Gains In Myrtle Beach Area

Gas prices push drivers to cycles

Myrtle Beach resident Darin Putnam started riding a mo-ped in 1996 after his driver's license was suspended.

Fourteen years later, Putnam's license still is suspended and he still rides a mo-ped, which he enjoys.

"There are so many of them around here," said Putnam, who drives a 2009 VIP Peace Sports. "It saves on pollution, gas cost, and you can easily maneuver through traffic. If you can put up with it, you can't beat it."

Putnam is among an increasing number of mo-ped riders throughout the area.

Horry County, according to officials with the state Department of Motor Vehicles, has the highest number of mo-ped licenses issued in the state.

As of Dec. 4, the DMV issued 872 mo-ped licenses in Horry County compared to 721 in 2009, said DMV spokeswoman Beth Parks. In Georgetown County, 62 mo-ped licenses had been issued compared to 55 during the same time periods. –Read more at SunNews

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Murrells Inlet Firm Violates Immigration Worker Law

Murrells Inlet company to keep license

LC Landscaping & Maintenance of Murrells Inlet is one of the first in the state to have been found to knowingly and willingly employ illegal workers under the S.C. Illegal Immigration Reform Act.

This week, the landscaping company reached a settlement agreement with the state about the violation, agreeing to a series of stipulations but avoiding the most serious penalty of a business license suspension. The violation is rare, one of two since the law was applied to businesses of all sizes on July 1.

The violation comes as the state government may consider additional immigration laws, but officials say that compliance with the current rules has been better than expected. Business leaders say companies had to get educated but are trying to follow the law.

On Oct. 26, following a complaint, the Office of Immigrant Worker Compliance, part of the S.C. Department of Labor, Licensing and Regulation, did an inspection of LC Landscaping's compliance with the immigration law that went into effect for businesses with more than 100 employees on July 1, 2009, and for all businesses on July 1.

During the inspection, the company's owner, Craig Collins, admitted to knowing that one of his employees was not authorized to work in the United States, according to a settlement agreement between the company and S.C. LLR. The employee told Collins when he was hired that he wasn't authorized to work but Collins employed him in one day increments about 20 times beginning in January 2010, according to the agreement. –Read more at SunNews

Ragbag Headliners

House Republicans Plan To Redefine Rape

Drugged, Raped, and Pregnant? Too bad -- Republicans are Pushing to Limit Rape and Incest Cases Eligible for Government Abortion Funding

Rape is only really rape if it involves force, according to the new House Republican majority as it now moves to change abortion law.

For years, federal laws restricting the use of government funds to pay for abortions have included exemptions for pregnancies resulting from rape or incest, with another exemption covering pregnancies that could endanger the life of the mother.

But the "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act," contains a provision that would rewrite the rules to drastically limit the definition of rape and incest in these cases. The bill, with 173 mostly Republican co-sponsors, has been dubbed a top priority in the new Congress by House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio).

With this legislation, which was introduced last week by Rep. Chris Smith (R-N.J.), Republicans propose that the rape exemption be limited to "forcible rape." This would rule out federal assistance for abortions in many rape cases, including instances of statutory rape, many of which are non-forcible.

For example, if a 13-year-old girl is impregnated by a 24-year-old adult, she would no longer qualify to have Medicaid pay for an abortion. Rep. Smith's spokesman did not respond to a call and an email requesting comment. –Read more at ABC News

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To Reduce Wireless Bills, Some Try An 'iPod Phone'

Brennan Stehling's phone looks just like an iPhone, but his bill is nothing like the ones most smartphone customers get in the mail each month.

His costs $40, but it can dip as low as $30 on months when he uses the phone sparingly.

The Milwaukee, Wisconsin, man's Apple device isn't a phone, exactly. It's an iPod Touch, a touch-screen gadget that contains most of the features of an iPhone except for the earpiece and cellular chip.

Use of the iPod Touch as a makeshift smartphone is an endeavor reserved mostly for a small niche of enterprising techies. Many of them share phone-related strategies, usually involving use of Skype or Google Voice, on internet message boards. –Read more at CNNTech

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The Internet Has (Kind Of) Run Out Of Space

On Thursday, the internet as we know it ran out of space.

The nonprofit group that assigns addresses to service providers announced that, on Thursday morning, it allocated the last free internet addresses available from the current pool used for most of the internet's history.

"This is an historic day in the history of the internet, and one we have been anticipating for quite some time," said Raul Echeberria, chairman of the Number Resource Organization.

But fear not. The group has seen this coming for more than a decade and is ready with a new pool of addresses that it expects to last, well, forever.

John Curran, CEO of the American Registry for Internet Numbers, said the old pool of Internet Protocol addresses had about 4.3 billion addresses. –Read more at CNN Tech

A Senior Citizen Parachute Club

My daughter asked why I didn't do something more useful with my time. She suggested that I go down to the Senior Citizens' Center and hang out with the guys.

So, I took her advice. I went to the local Senior Citizens' Center, and when I got home that afternoon, I told her that I did what she told me, and I even joined a parachute club.

She said: "Are you nuts? You're over 75 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I proudly informed her that I even got a membership card, and showed it to her.

She screamed, "Where are your glasses? This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"

I guess, I'm in trouble again, and now I don't know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week! Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier. –Author Unknown

What Is The Internet?

Are You Prepared?

The following is a list of 20 things you and your family will need to survive when the economy totally collapses and the next Great Depression begins.

1) Storable Food

Food is going to instantly become one of the most valuable commodities in existence in the event of an economic collapse. If you do not have food you are not going to survive. Most American families could not last much longer than a month on what they have in their house right now. So what about you? If disaster struck right now, how long could you survive on what you have? The truth is that we all need to start storing up food. If you and your family run out of food, you will suddenly find yourselves competing with the hordes of hungry people who are looting the stores and roaming the streets looking for something to eat. Of course, you can grow your own food, but that is going to take time. So you need to have enough food stored up until the food that you plant has time to grow. But if you have not stored up any seeds you might as well forget it. When the economy totally collapses, the remaining seeds will disappear very quickly. So if you think that you are going to need seeds, now is the time to get them.

2) Clean Water

Most people can survive for a number of weeks without food, but without water you will die in just a few days. So where would you get water if the water suddenly stopped flowing out of your tap? Do you have a plan? Is there an abundant supply of clean water near your home? Would you be able to boil water if you need to? Besides storing water and figuring out how you are going to gather water if society breaks down, another thing to consider is water purification tablets. The water you are able to gather during a time of crisis may not be suitable for drinking. So you may find that water purification tablets come in very, very handy.

3) Shelter

You can't sleep on the streets, can you? Well, some people will be able to get by living on the streets, but the vast majority of us will need some form of shelter to survive for long. So what would you do if you and your family lost your home or suddenly were forced from your home? Where would you go? The best thing to do is to come up with several plans. Do you have relatives that you can bunk with in case of emergency? Do you own a tent and sleeping bags if you had to rough it? If one day everything hits the fan and you and your family have to "bug out" somewhere, where would that be? You need to have a plan.

4) Warm Clothing

If you plan to survive for long in a nightmare economic situation, you are probably going to need some warm, functional clothing. If you live in a cold climate, this is going to mean storing up plenty of blankets and cold weather clothes. If you live in an area where it rains a lot, you will need to be sure to store up some rain gear. If you think you may have to survive outdoors in an emergency situation, make sure that you and your family have something warm to put on your heads. Someday after the economy has collapsed and people are scrambling to survive, a lot of folks are going to end up freezing to death. In fact, in the coldest areas it is actually possible to freeze to death in your own home. Don't let that happen to you.

5) An Axe

Staying along the theme of staying warm, you may want to consider investing in a good axe. In the event of a major emergency, gathering firewood will be a priority. Without a good tool to cut the wood with that will be much more difficult.

6) Lighters Or Matches

You will also want something to start a fire with. If you can start a fire, you can cook food, you can boil water and you can stay warm. So, in a true emergency situation, how do you plan to start a fire? By rubbing sticks together? Now is the time to put away a supply of lighters or matches so that you will be prepared when you really need them. In addition, you may want to consider storing up a good supply of candles. Candles come in quite handy whenever the electricity goes out, and in the event of a long-term economic nightmare, we will all see why our forefathers relied on candles so much.

7) Hiking Boots Or Comfortable Shoes

When you ask most people to list things necessary for survival, this is not the first or the second thing that comes to mind. But having hiking boots or very comfortable and functional shoes will be absolutely critical. You may very well find yourself in a situation where you and your family must walk everywhere you want to go. So how far do you think you will get in high heels? You will want footwear that you would feel comfortable walking in for hours, if necessary. You will also want footwear that will last a long time because when the economy truly collapses you may not be able to run out to the shoe store and get what you need at that point.

8) A Flashlight And/Or Lantern

When the power goes off in your home, what is the first thing that you grab? Just think about it. A flashlight or a lantern, of course. In a major emergency, a flashlight or a lantern is going to be a necessity, especially if you need to go anywhere at night. Solar powered or "crank style" flashlights or lanterns will probably be best during a long-term emergency. If you have battery-powered units you will want to begin storing up lots and lots of batteries.

9) A Radio

If a major crisis does hit the United States, what will you and your family want? Among other things, you will all want to know what in the world is going on. A radio can be an invaluable tool for keeping up with the news. Once again, solar powered or "crank style" radios will probably work best for the long term. A battery-powered until would work as well - but only for as long as your batteries are able to last.

10) Communication Equipment

When things really hit the fan you are going to want to communicate with your family and friends. You will also want to be able to contact an ambulance or law enforcement if necessary. Having an emergency cell phone is great, but it may or may not work during a time of crisis. The Internet also may or may not be available. Be sure to have a plan (whether it be high-tech or low-tech) for staying in communication with others during a major emergency.

11) A Swiss Army Knife

If you have ever owned a Swiss Army knife you probably already know how incredibly handy it can be. It is a very valuable and versatile tool. In a true survival situation, a Swiss Army knife can literally do dozens of different things for you. Make sure that you have at least one stored up for emergencies.

12) Personal Hygiene Items

While these may not be absolute "essentials", the truth is that life will get very unpleasant very quickly without them. For example, what would you do without toilet paper? Just think about it. Imagine that you just finished your last roll of toilet paper and now you can't get any more. What would you do? The truth is that soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, toilet paper and other hygiene products are things that we completely take for granted in society today. So what would happen if we could not go out and buy them any longer?

13) A First Aid Kit And Other Medical Supplies

On a more serious note, you may not have access to a hospital or a doctor during a major crisis. In your survival supplies, be absolutely certain that you have a good first aid kit and any other medical supplies that you think you may need.

14) Extra Gasoline

There may come a day when gasoline is rationed or is simply not available at all. If that happens, how will you get around? Be certain to have some extra gasoline stored away just in case you find yourself really needing to get somewhere someday.

15) A Sewing Kit

If you were not able to run out and buy new clothes for you and your family, what would you do? Well, you would want to repair the clothes that you have and make them last as long as possible. Without a good sewing kit that will be very difficult to do.

16) Self-Defense Equipment

Whether it is pepper spray to fend off wild animals or something more "robust" to fend off wild humans, millions of Americans will one day be thankful that they have something to defend themselves with.

17) A Compass

In the event of a major emergency, you and your family may find yourselves having to be on the move. If you are in a wilderness area, it will be very hard to tell what direction you are heading without a compass. It is always a good idea to have at least one compass stored up.

18) A Hiking Backpack

If you and your family suddenly have to "bug out", what will you carry all of your survival supplies in? Having a good hiking backpack or "survival bag" for everyone in your family is extremely important. If something happened in the city where you live and you suddenly had to "go", what would you put your most important stuff in? How would you carry it all if you had to travel by foot? These are very important things to think about.

19) A Community

During a long-term crisis, it is those who are willing to work together that will have the best chance of making it. Whether it is your family, your friends, a church or a local group of people that you know, make sure that you have some people that you can rely on and work together with in the event that everything hits the fan. Loners are going to have a really hard time of surviving for long.

20) A Back-up Plan

Lastly, it is always important to have a backup plan for everything.

If someone comes in and steals all the food that you have stored up, what are you going to do? If travel is restricted and your can't get to your "bug out" location immediately, do you have a Plan B? If you have built your house into an impregnable survival fortress but circumstances force you to leave, do you have an alternate plan? 

The truth is that crisis situations rarely unfold just as we envision. It is important to be flexible and to be ready with back-up plans when disaster strikes. You don't want to end up like the folks in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. You don't want to have to rely on the government to take care of you if something really bad happens. Right now the U.S. strategic grain reserve contains only enough wheat to make half a loaf of bread for each of the approximately 300 million people in the United States. How long do you think that is going to last?

Now is the time to get ready. Now is the time to prepare.

Source Unknown

Taking The Pledge

I'm never drinking again.
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again

I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again.
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again.
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again

Never Ever Again!