Attendant: Welcome aboard A la Carte Air. Sir, may I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please.
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we now charge a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight or not?
Passenger: Yes. . .Aw, all right, I'll pay but the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. Your carry-on bag needs to be stowed. Would you like me to put it in the overhead compartment?
Passenger: That would be swell. Thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go,and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on stowing assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: You're right, you can't stand. You need to sit and fasten your seatbelt. But first I need the $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I'd have to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is working, sir. Just place 50 cents in the overhead coin slot for the first 5 minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: No, sir. Stagnant cabin air is free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: You gave me only three quarters for my dollar?
Attendant: There's a change-making fee of 25 cents, sir.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter?
Attendant: Hang on to it. You'll need it for the lavatory.
Author Unknown
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please.
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we now charge a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight or not?
Passenger: Yes. . .Aw, all right, I'll pay but the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. Your carry-on bag needs to be stowed. Would you like me to put it in the overhead compartment?
Passenger: That would be swell. Thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go,and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on stowing assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: You're right, you can't stand. You need to sit and fasten your seatbelt. But first I need the $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I'd have to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is working, sir. Just place 50 cents in the overhead coin slot for the first 5 minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: No, sir. Stagnant cabin air is free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: You gave me only three quarters for my dollar?
Attendant: There's a change-making fee of 25 cents, sir.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter?
Attendant: Hang on to it. You'll need it for the lavatory.
Author Unknown
