1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
3. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
4. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
5. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
6. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
7. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
8. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
9. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
10. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
11. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
12. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
13. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
14. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
15. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
16. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
17. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
18. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
19. Pessimist: - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
20. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
21. Father: A banker provided by nature.
22. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest, except that he got caught.
23. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
24. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
25. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
26. Computer Engineer: One who gets paid for reading such mails.
Author Unknown
2. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
3. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
4. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
5. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
6. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
7. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
8. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
9. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
10. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
11. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
12. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
13. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
14. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
15. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
16. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
17. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
18. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
19. Pessimist: - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
20. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
21. Father: A banker provided by nature.
22. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest, except that he got caught.
23. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
24. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
25. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
26. Computer Engineer: One who gets paid for reading such mails.
Author Unknown
